


Not Gay

by foursidedjade (ShisoLoveli)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-13 14:19:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3384851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShisoLoveli/pseuds/foursidedjade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Literally what the title says.</p><p>Various ships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Daichi Is A Manly Man Part 1 [DaiSuga]

**Author's Note:**

> I love, love, love Haikyuu!! fics in which it seems like there is no way one person would be into the other party. But then they are. Because then... it's just like, their love is SO RIGHT, it has no limits, no gender, color, explanation, etc Basically, it transcends anything that stands in its way.

Daichi is a manly man. The manliest of men. He has dashing good looks and roguish charm. He's trained in several forms of martial arts. He wrestles bears and climbs mountains barehanded (on his 3DS, but if he wanted to do those manly activities in real life, he easily could). He drinks coffee black, and makes himself large man sandwiches, piled high with lots of meat, after Sunday morning practices.

He is incredibly popular with the ladies. High school girls confess to him because of his dashing good looks. Older women like him because of his responsible and dependable character. Grandmothers adore him because his chiseled forearms easily carry many bags of groceries. He is a leader, a captain; he leads his team as expertly as a professional cowboy herds cattle. His commanding character can whip the most rowdy of men into line (Tanaka), the most cunning and cutting of men into silence (Tsukishima), even bring fear into men much larger than himself (Asahi).

Yes, Daichi is the manliest of men.

So when Daichi has something as unmanly as a crush, well, he does what any true man does when they find themselves in this situation… which is, have absolutely no fucking clue what to do about it. So as the saying goes, ignore it, and it will go away. At least that was his plan, when, all those months ago, he realized he had a crush. Play it cool, act as normal, and that's what he tried to do, honest-to-God tried his hardest to do. Except that didn't work, because ignoring the problem only amplifies it, as everyone already knows. So the crush blossomed and grew, and Daichi is loath to admit it, but he is now in the middle of an unrequited love.

What makes it worse, possibly worse to infinity squared, is that he is in love with his best friend aka Sugawara Koushi, a man himself.

Albeit, a beautiful, gorgeous man, with ash blonde hair that shimmers like a halo under the light of sunset. A man with a slender frame that would fit perfectly against Daichi's larger one while spooning. Whose hands are long and graceful, with elegant slender fingers that would fit snug between Daichi's own during handholding.

Damn, does he have it bad.

Daichi is man enough to admit that he has a problem that he really needs help with. The problem with that, is that whenever he has a problem, Suga is the one he turns to for advice. Obviously this isn't an option. _Well, Suga, you see, my problem is that I am so completely in love with you that I would have your babies if you'd let me._ Haha. Hah.

Which is why, one night, when he wakes up from a dream in which Suga is writhing underneath him, hot and sweaty and perfect, he starts to maybe panic a little, especially since he can't quite recall a time when his dick has been so hard. If dream Suga is such a turn-on, then real life Suga will probably be mind-blowing, and once Daichi gets that thought into his head he has to watch himself for the rest of the week, in order not to pop a boner in inappropriate places, like History class, which he has with Suga.

 

He does a pretty good job of it, until Saturday comes along and he's standing in line, absentmindedly watching Suga step up to take his turn for receiving practice. Then Suga takes his stance, his shapely ass sticking out, legs spread so his calve muscles bunch up, and Daichi can literally feel the blood rushing downward faster than Oikawa's killer serve. Since it is oh-so-cliché that he is in love with his best friend, he does something cliché: turns around and runs right into Tsukishima standing behind him. They both go crashing to the floor, and everyone's eyes turn to them, and oh fuck, this is the worst time to be in the spotlight since he is now sporting a semi. He doesn't even apologize properly to Tsukishima, just quickly gets up and runs, yelling a "Sorry" over his shoulder.

He sits in the club room, on the verge of hyperventilating. What the fuck is he supposed to do? What the fuck can he do? Can he even do anything about this, besides be so pathetic? He needs to stop psyching himself out. He is Sawamura Daichi, dependable and sturdy. He shouldn't be sitting in club rooms about to break down over an unrequited love. He should be out there, commanding his team. If he has a problem, he should do something dependable, like write down a pros and cons list.

He makes his way back to practice, apologizing to everyone for the interruption, giving the vague and weak excuse of forgetting to tell his mother something over some important family matter. He sees Suga eye him and tries to act natural, since more often than not, Suga knows when Daichi is lying.

"You ok?" Suga comes up to him and puts a casual hand on his shoulder. The hand is warm and soft and distracting, and Daichi swallows twice before he can answer as normal as can be.

"Yes, everything's fine."

Practice goes on as usual, and to apologize to everyone, Daichi announces he's buying everyone popsicles afterwards, which has the immediate effect of making everyone forget any lingering weirdness as they race to the store to get their favorite flavor.

"Noya-san is going to try out the limited edition cheeseburger flavor!" Hinata announces as he jumps in excitement, gripping his own soda flavored bar, which he's already opened and taken a bite out of.

"Idiot, Daichi-san hasn't paid for them yet," Kageyama barks. He's holding onto the edge of the plastic packaging of a milk flavored one so his fingers don't freeze.

Daichi acts like an old man and picks out the black sesame and ginger (another LE flavor, but safer than cheeseburger), and pays for everyone's popsicles. The team members then scatter, going their separate ways, and since it is Saturday, and they have a history test on Monday, Suga follows Daichi to his house, because they are studying together, of course.

"Daichi is everything ok?" Suga asks, and panic sets in. Was he being obvious? Was he staring? He is almost 85% positive he was acting completely normal. Or maybe only 56%, since he was a little distracted by the way Suga was licking the popsicle.

"Is it something with your parents, or your sister or brother?" Suga continues, and Daichi realizes that he's talking about the excuse he made up when he came back from his private freak out earlier. Oh crap.

"Uh, yeah. No. It was about my grandparents, I mean my great grandparents that live in Osaka." His great grandparents that live far away are extremely old so there's no chance they'll come over and visit any time soon and reveal the lie he's telling. "It's uh, nothing serious, but you shouldn't mention anything to my mom because it a sensitive topic." Daichi feels sort of brilliant on top of the guilt, for coming up with a super smooth lie on the spot.

"Ok," Suga says, nothing more nothing less. Then he leans over, without warning, and takes a bite of Daichi's black sesame and ginger ice bar.

"Hey!" Daichi says, shoving him away, and the moment of panic passes. Suga laughs and it's like sunshine, if sunshine had a sound, and everything is right with Daichi’s world again. Everything, that is, except for that fact that he is in love with Suga.

\------

When they get together to study, they actually study. Not stupid, teenage boy "studying", which consists of studying for ten minutes, then playing games and turning everything into a contest (Hinata and Kageyama).

So they've been studying for a good hour and a half before Daichi sets his pencil down and stretches. Suga is still bent over the notebook in front of him, writing down some extra notes.

 Suga's notes are perfect. He has a color coded system for highlighting that he's used since middle school, so Daichi knows it by heart: Blue for important terms. Yellow for problem areas. Green for things that seem like they might be on a test.

"Daichi? Daichi?" Suga pokes him in the middle of the forehead with the end of his pencil, and Daichi realizes he's zoned out watching Suga study.

"Uh," he says, because he's zoned out _staring at Suga_ and he couldn't possibly be any more obvious. But the look Suga gives him doesn't scream out I-am-onto-you-semi-stalking-me, it is simply half-exasperated, half-curious.

"Break time," Suga says easily, "Your brain seems like it could use a little rest."

"Hey!" Daichi protests, and Suga laughs and it sounds like bells ringing on top of a seaside cliff during sunset. Beautiful.

"Suga," Daichi begins, before he can put his foot in his mouth, "what do you look for in a guy?"

"Huh?" Suga asks, confusion on his face. Daichi mentally curses himself, trying to figure out how to change the question into one more general. Hopefully Suga will not realize that he slipped up and was subconsciously trying see if he himself holds any of the characteristics that Suga looks for in a man. Not that Daichi is desperate or anything.

"You know, uh, what kind of guys are you into?"

Suga stares at him for a few moments. Tips his head to the side as though he is trying to mentally figure out a math problem.

"Daichi," Suga says slowly and clearly, without preamble, "I'm not gay."

Daichi's brain shuts down.

"Oh," Daichi says, on autopilot. "My bad."

Suga, being Suga, just gives an easy laugh.

"I know everyone on the team tells me I'm a mom, but I'm not actually a woman," Suga jokes, and since Daichi is on autopilot he gives a chuckle that sounds completely normal.

"Hmm, what about you Daichi? What kind of guys are you into?” Suga asks easily.

The question is like a bomb being lobbed into Daichi's brain, exploding and scrambling his already incoherent thoughts. _Guys I’m into? Only one guy. That guy, being you, specifically. On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9, and I'm the 1 you need. Hahaha, so… will you be mine Suga?_ Which of course, he will never say, but since Daichi is bowling for a ten pin idiot's spare, he blurts out, "Why do you think I'm gay?"

Suga studies him for a moment, before smiling his understanding Suga smile, and stands up.

"No pressure Daichi, no pressure. Let's go get some snacks."

Then he walks out of the room, as ordinary as can be, leaving Daichi to realize he is royally fucked on a whole new level.

\-------

Daichi needs help. Desperately.

He lies in bed, considering his options. All of the younger members on the team are out of the question. No chance in Hell is he ever going to ask for their advice on this matter. This leaves Asahi. Daichi considers asking Asahi. He imagines how it would play out:

_After assuring Asahi ten or twenty times he has a legitimate question to ask him._

_"So I have a problem and I need your advice."_

_Asahi, nods, nervously._

_"But first, I need to make sure you know I'm gay. You know that right?"_

_Asahi's entire face turns red._

_"Ok, now that that's over with, the problem is that I'm in love with Suga, and to top it off, he's not gay."_

_Asahi's face turns purple, his eyes roll upward, and his head explodes into thousands of tiny Noya-butterflies._

Ok, so maybe that wouldn't happen in real life, but even in an imaginary scenario his mind can't help but bully Asahi.

He considers asking Shimizu, but quickly dismisses the idea. He thinks, a bit unfairly, that someone as beautiful as her has probably never had to try in order to get someone to notice her. Even if she has, the person would have, most likely, fallen in love with her right away.

It must be nice to live on a pedestal.

He really, really wishes he could ask Suga without him figuring it out. He knows this is next to impossible.

Dependable Daichi looks at the clock, which reads 11:52pm. They have a team meet up to watch past matches in the morning, so he should really get some rest, since he'll probably spend half the time telling the younger kids to pay attention and not mess around.

\------

The meet up is at Ennoshita's house, which is huge, because his family is very rich. His parents are away on a business trip, working on becoming even richer, so they conveniently have the house to themselves. They have a barbeque, and predictably they end up playing volleyball in Ennoshita's huge backyard for more than half the time.

Everyone is in casual clothes, since this isn't an official practice meeting. Suga is wearing a soft cornflower blue v-neck and white cargo shorts. Daichi can't remember the last time he has seen Suga in casual clothing, which makes Daichi realize that they have not spent time together outside of volleyball or school in a very, very long time. It also makes him unable to stop glancing at Suga.

Right after lunch Ennoshita's older sister comes home. She is only a year older than Daichi, Suga, and Asahi, goes to the local University, and is absolutely gorgeous. This makes Tanaka and Nishinoya go completely crazy. Even Tsukishima blushes a touch of pale pink when she accidently bumps into him. Tanaka and Nishinoya insist that she play volleyball with them, while Ennoshita just tries to keep everyone from hitting on her too much. Apparently Hisashi is in love with her.

Daichi goes into the kitchen at one point, to get a cold sports drink from the fridge. He picks orange, because it's the only one that doesn't taste like salty sugared plastic, and shuts the door, only to be met, rather unexpectedly, with Ennoshita's sister's incredibly pretty face, which may or may not make Daichi shout in surprise.

She laughs.

"Oops, sorry there Sawamura," she says playfully. She bites her lower lip rather attractively.

"Haven't seen you in a while," she states, giving him a dazzling smile. She takes a step closer, and lays a well-manicured hand on his forearm. "You've grown up."

Daichi almost drops the bottle he's holding.

"Uh," he says intelligently.

"You're about to graduate right?" she asks, ignoring his lack of verbal intellect. "Any chance you're going to stick around and attend the same university as I am?"

"Uh," Daichi says again, but this time, he's interrupted by someone else coming in from the backyard. Suga. Of course.

Daichi can see when Suga spots Ennoshita's sister's hand on his arm. His eyes widen and his mouth drops open slightly in surprise. It would be comical if it wasn't _Suga, walking in on him, with a girl._

Daichi blanches.

"Oh sorry, excuse me," Suga says, politely. He turns right around, and goes back outside.

Daichi doesn't even excuse himself to Ennoshita's sister. He pulls away and follows after Suga.

That's as far as he gets though, because everyone else is outside as well, and it's not like Daichi can grab Suga and tell him he actually didn't see anything, and nothing was going on because: 1. Something was definitely going on, despite how one sided it may have been. 2. It wouldn't even matter to Suga if there was. As he walks over, the last thought depresses Daichi a bit, but he still feels strangely guilty.

When Daichi reaches Suga, Suga wordlessly takes his orange sports drink and downs half of it.

"Thanks," he says, handing the bottle back to Daichi with a completely normal smile.

\-------

It's late in the afternoon before everyone heads home. Suga still hasn't given any indication that anything out of the ordinary happened. In fact, he is acting so ordinary, Daichi feels a little let down. Maybe it is because his mind has been in overdrive lately, but at one point he might have imagined a scenario in which Suga realized, after seeing Daichi with someone else, his true (romantic) feelings for Daichi. Admittedly, this scenario may be a tad unrealistic. It also may be an indication that Daichi secretly watches too many gender bender K-dramas.

"That turned out pretty well," Suga comments, as they walk home together.

"Yeah," Daichi agrees.

"Though, when Hinata slammed into the tree, I thought for sure we would have to call an ambulance." Suga laughs.

"Yeah," Daichi says, mimicking his laugh.

Suga side-eyes him.

"Daichi," he prods gently. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Daichi mumbles. Suga raises an eyebrow and gives him a look. Daichi sighs.

"It's just, at first. It wasn't what it looked like."

Suga scrunches his nose in confusion.

"What wasn't what it looked like?"

"You know, earlier."

"Earlier when?" Suga asks patiently.

"You know, when I was in the kitchen, with Ennoshita's sister."

"Oh, right." Suga looks thoughtful, then apologetic. "Sorry for interrupting."

"No, you didn't interrupt," Daichi insists, for some reason turning red, making his words seem insincere. He rubs a hand across the back of his neck in slight agitation. "There really wasn't anything going on."

"Ok Daichi." Suga gives him a reassuring pat on his shoulder. They walk in silence for a few steps.

"So, there wasn't anything going on, but you know, if there was, it's ok. You don't have to be embarrassed," Suga soothes, in his ever reassuring tone, which normally works on Daichi. This time, however, it just makes him more agitated.

"No, Suga, I mean there really, really wasn't anything going on. There's nothing going on between us. Absolutely nothing," Daichi says, urgently, impulsively grabbing onto Suga's shoulders to enforce his point, forcing him to stop walking.

"Um, ok Daichi. I believe you. Really," Suga says, looking confused and a little alarmed. Daichi feels like bashing his head against the wall of the building behind Suga. He refrains from doing so.

"Ok then," Daichi says, letting go. He starts walking again, but is stopped by a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Daichi, what's this really about?" Suga asks, gentle, _so gentle_.

Daichi stills. Wonder if perhaps, this is the moment he’s been waiting for. He can barely get the words out of his mouth, his throat feels too tight.

"Nothing, Suga. It's nothing."

 _Please just drop it_ , his tone says, and since no one can read Daichi better, Suga does.

\------

Daichi wakes up on Monday, lids heavy and throat dry from lack of sleep.

His brain feels cottony, his thoughts languid, though he can't tell if it's from mental strain or physical fatigue.

He spent a long time thinking last night. A long time. He admits that this whole Suga Debacle is literally 95% mental, and 5% reality. He has to stop overthinking everything. He also has to accept the truth. It took him a day to get over the shock, but after what Suga revealed to him on Saturday he has to swallow the reality of the situation however bitter it may taste in his mouth: Suga will never like him.

Daichi feels a bit stupid. He, rather presumptuously assumed, for whatever reason, that Suga was gay. Maybe because they are best friends, and by default, he rather naively believed that Suga would like all the same things he did. Maybe it was because Suga has never had a girlfriend, or maybe it was because of some ridiculous stereotype, like Suga being gentler and miles prettier than the average boy.

The worst thing, he was able to realize during his sleepless pondering, is that even if he did confess to Suga, he is positive that Suga would be so very Suga, and be completely understanding and kind and accepting of his feelings.

For some reason Daichi finds this thought more unbearable than being rejected.

On the walk to school he sometimes meets up with Suga or Asahi by coincidence, in the crossroads where their three neighborhoods meet. This morning Daichi sees Suga and Asahi walking ahead of him, but doesn't bother to catch up. He drags his feet, just a little, so that he stays a block and a half behind, and keeps his head down, as though that will keep Suga or Asahi from recognizing him if either of them happens to turn around.

"Daichi?" He hears Asahi say, and he looks up to see he is less than half a block away from Suga and Asahi, who are standing completely still and staring at him.

"Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Are you ready for the big test today?" He asks Asahi purposefully, which works, because Asahi starts nervously rambling about being unprepared. He sees Suga give him a contemplative look out of the corner of his eye, but chooses to ignore it.

\-------

Usually, Daichi eats lunch with Suga and a few other people in their homeroom, but today, Daichi makes up some lame excuse about having to study for English, and goes off to a stairwell that he knows is quiet and barely used. He's only sitting there for a few minutes before Suga appears and sits down next to him.

He doesn't say anything, just opens his bento and starts eating.

Maybe Suga doesn't know what it is, or why it is that Daichi has a problem, but he obviously understands, and Daichi falls just a little bit more in love with him.

It makes his heart hurt.

Daichi feels like he fumbles through the rest of the day. He can't even really remember what he does, only that everything feels awkward and heavy. What he does know is that he has never had such a horrible time at volleyball practice in his life. Coach Ukai almost benches him.

On the way home after practice, after splitting off from the group, Daichi and Suga walk in silence.

It's not a comfortable silence: Daichi is a bit too sad and Suga is far too understanding—but it's bearable. At least it is, until Suga accidently brushes up against Daichi, and Daichi very obviously grimaces. He tries to act like nothing happened, and he thinks Suga is willing to let it go since he asks Daichi if they can go to the convenience store. However, when they get there, instead of going inside, Suga veers off to the left where just past the bushes are a couple of hidden benches.

 _Oh fuck,_ Daichi thinks, as he sits down next to Suga.

"Daichi," Suga begins slowly and carefully. "You've been acting a bit… off."

Every muscle in Daichi's body seems to tense.

"It's not just recently, you've been sort of weird for a while now. At first I thought it was just the stress of the Spring High, but now, I don't think it's that," Suga explains, carefully, so very carefully, that Daichi feels the control he’s fastidiously built up all these months, slip, word by word, from his fingertips, to sink deep into the Earth below.

"Daichi," Suga repeats, and Daichi can't even look at him, because it's Suga. Suga, who he knows better than the back of his own hand, and who knows Daichi just as well. Even better probably.

He feels like he's not breathing even though he can see his breath as white clouds that disappear into the cold night air.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

Apex.

Refute, and afterwards life might not be unbearable.

Daichi takes a deep breath to ready himself, but instead of words of denial falling from his lips, the air comes whooshing right back out.

"I'm sorry," he says simply. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be—" Suga begins.

Daichi cuts him off. "Please don't do that. Don't be understanding." He takes another deep breath, shaky this time, and runs a hand over his face. "God, Suga, please don’t fucking do that."

For once it seems like Suga doesn’t have a soothing response ready.

"At first, I tried to just let it go," Daichi says, still not looking at Suga. "But that didn't work. At all. So then I tried to make it go away. That didn't work either. So I've just been trying to live with it." He finally glances at Suga, and Suga is looking at him steadily, listening to every word he says. 

"But apparently that didn't work. I mean look at what just happened. I dragged it on for so long that I didn't even need to confess to you. You figured it out and brought it up!" Daichi gestures uselessly in the air in front of him. "How pathetic is that?"

"It's not pathetic," Suga says quietly, but Daichi just groans in exasperation.

"It is, it really is. It's pathetic and cliché and stupid."

"It's not stupid," Suga says, even quieter this time. Daichi looks at him. Suga isn't looking at him anymore, he's staring at the ground, and his eyes are soft and sad. This makes Daichi feel even worse.

"Suga don't feel bad. I didn't expect— I mean I never thought you would return my feelings. So don't feel bad about it. You have nothing to feel bad about," Daichi fumbles, trying to reassure him. Suga’s gaze becomes more downcast. It makes Daichi’s stomach feel queasy.

“Seriously, it doesn’t have to mean anything,” Daichi says, grasping at straws. “I just want us to stay best friends, like we are now. That’s all I want. I just don’t want things to be weird between us.”

“If that’s all you want, you would have given up a long time ago,” Suga says earnestly, looking at him again.

Daichi’s mouth goes dry, the wind from his sails stolen away.

“Yeah. Ok.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Ok, you’re right.”

Daichi lets his head fall backwards, staring at the stars unseeingly.

“Suga, what am I supposed to do?” He asks, helplessly. Suga is the one who always gives him advice, so even during a completely impossible situation involving Suga he still needs to ask Suga. Irony is cruel.

“I don’t think there’s anything you can do, you can’t help liking who you like,” Suga says reasonably.

“Yeah,” Daichi breathes defeated. “You’re right. Again.”

He feels tired.

“But,” Suga hedges. He pauses and bites his lip nervously, “maybe I can do something.”

Daichi takes a long while to simply comprehend the words.

“What do you mean?” Daichi asks, completely not catching on.

“I mean, maybe we could try out dating,” He gives Daichi a small smile which only makes everything become infinitely worse.

“Suga, don’t pity me,” Daichi spits out, heart finally starting to throb unpleasantly, “I know you’re trying to be nice, but it’s really just… not. It’s not.”

He whispers his next words.

“It’s actually sort of cruel.”

“Daichi.” Suga reaches out, and nudges the edge of his fingertips against Daichi’s own. His fingers are cold, but his touch is solid and steady.

“Look, I’m not saying I can promise you that I’ll fall for you for sure, but I really do care about you. You’re my best friend. The best friend I’ve ever had, and I can’t imagine ever finding a better one. I thought it over, a lot, last night. I spent a long time thinking about it.” Daichi looks at him, and for the first time that day, notices the bags under Suga’s eyes that mirror his own.

“How long have you known?”

“That you like me?”

Daichi nods.

“Only since yesterday; after what happened, I sort of suspected.” Suga gives a wry smile. “Usually my suspicions about you are right, so I didn’t really hesitate to assume it was the truth.”

“I’m not a girl,” Daichi points out.

“Oh, well spotted,” Suga immediately says, and Daichi groans, but gives a half-laugh, because trust Suga to quote Hermione Granger during such a serious moment. He looks at Suga.

Suga gives him a gentle smile.

“I’m just saying,” Suga keeps his fingers against Daichi’s. He speaks slowly, choosing his words carefully, “a lot of couples start out this way right? One person falls for someone who doesn’t feel the same, but then the other person grows to love them as well. That could happen with us.”

“But it could also not happen,” Daichi counters.

“Glass half full Daichi.”

Daichi bites his lip, contemplating. Daichi can’t find the right words to respond. His mind can’t quite seem to fully grasp Suga’s proposal.

Suga taps his fingers against Daichi’s. “You know, this played out a lot differently in my head last night. For starters, I didn’t imagine that _I_ would be the one convincing _you_ to start a relationship. Actually I didn’t think you would even need convincing. I thought you would be happy, ecstatic even.” He raises his hand and taps his finger playfully against the side of Daichi’s head. “Stop overthinking everything, old man.”

Daichi laughs in sheer disbelief.

“You’re serious?”

Suga turns, and reaches over, pressing his hand meaningfully onto Daichi’s chest, right above his heart.

“I’m completely serious.” Suga confirms.

Even through his uniform jacket Daichi can feel how cold Suga’s hand is. Daichi realizes that Suga must be freezing. He’s sitting out in the bitter cold, trying to console Daichi, while at the same time help him find a solution. A solution that will make Daichi happy, even if it might mean making his own life more difficult. He’s _so_ good.

So very good.

This is why Daichi loves him.

“Ok. Yes.” Daichi raises his own hand to place above Suga’s. Squeezes gently despite how choked his voice sounds. “Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me an inordinate amount of time to write, and an innumerable amount of tries. But well, I finally like how it turned out.


	2. Daichi Is A Manly Man Part 2 [DaiSuga]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how there are 5.2 billion stories of Haiykuu!! smut on this site. THIS ISN'T ONE OF THEM.
> 
> WARNING: Disgustingly innocent and fluffy.
> 
> Super light, and fluffy. With just the tiniest bit of plot. So basically a pile of cotton candy and marshmallows.

Suga begins to regret his words.

It's been a little over two weeks since they've started dating. They even went to the aquarium this past Saturday because Daichi remembered that Suga mentioned he wanted to go there for a date after reading about it in a manga. Suga vaguely remembers reading a manga where the couple goes to the aquarium on a date. However, he doesn't remember the names of the couple, or even the name of the manga, because he read it several months ago. Maybe even closer to half a year ago. It amazes him that Daichi remembers that comment when he can't even remember to bring an eraser to math class, but at least it gives him a hint about just how long Daichi has liked him.

When Suga tried to ask Daichi how long he's liked him, Daichi only replied with "for a while now" then blatantly changed the subject. Suga has the suspicion Daichi doesn't want to tell him because he thinks he will feel bad about just how long it took for him to figure out Daichi's feelings. Suga thinks Daichi is being a paranoid idiot. He keeps that to himself—for now, at least—because saying anything might make the current situation worse.

"Please."

Daichi had whispered, that meaningful night two weeks ago. And Suga had truly been pleased (if not a little nervous) to fulfill that request. Daichi asks Suga for advice all the time but rarely does he ever ask Suga to actually help him with the problem.

Daichi had insisted on walking him home. It was nice because Daichi kept looking at him like he was caught in a waking dream, stunned and beautifully awed by his luck. Then they got to Suga's gate and Daichi had frozen: face turning red, fingers twitching nervously, eyes darting around unfocused.

Suga realized what was happening because he wasn't a socially inept elephant like Kageyama.

"Daichi, don't worry, we can just take it slow."

Daichi had looked undoubtedly relieved at his words, but also a tinge disappointed that he wasn't going to get a kiss from Suga right then.

It had seemed like the right words to say at the time for such a tenderly new situation.

_Just take it slow._

In the morning Suga sometimes meets up with Daichi. They walk to school together, have class together, eat lunch together. They go to practice together, hit volleyballs together, then walk home together. On the weekend they hang out together.

Exactly like before.

Exactly.

Daichi hasn't tried to kiss Suga since. He doesn't hug Suga. When they are alone Daichi doesn't try to cuddle up to him or even slip an arm around his shoulder. They don't hold hands. There are no secret, stolen glances, no awkwardly endearing fumbles at physical affection. They sit, like two platonic friends, side by side, joking around and hanging out as they always have.

Suga feels… a little let down.

Not that he is disappointed, per say. It's not like he was expecting anything, but after mentally preparing himself for what he was sure would be some life shattering changes, he's a bit…

Ok, he is disappointed.

Daichi chuckles at the TV show they're watching in Suga's living room.

"Ahaha," he says, attention completely on the animated figures bouncing around the screen. They are sitting in the middle of the couch, next to each other, but not quite touching. Suga scoots over so that his elbow bumps Daichi's.

"Oh sorry," Daichi says distractedly, scooting away so that the contact breaks, inanely oblivious.

Suga's eye twitches. He calms down by reminding himself that outside of volleyball Daichi is about as observant as a brick.

"Oh damn. Nhhuhhhahahahaha." Daichi laughs, loudly and obnoxiously, and Suga thinks how lucky Daichi is that their kouhai aren't here to witness what a dillweed he truly is.

The overly cheerful characters on the TV screen grate against Suga's usually steadfast nerves.

"Daichi," Suga tries, turning to face him.

"Yeah?" Daichi asks, not looking away from the screen.

"I want to try something new."

"Mmhhahaha, what was that Suga?" Daichi asks, eyes still facing forward.

"I said," Suga states, louder, "I want to try something new."

He puts his hand firmly on Daichi's knee.

Daichi's head whips around so fast his mouth is still half-caught in a laugh but his eyes are wide, wide open.

"Let's try something new," he says, giving Daichi's knee a squeeze. Daichi's eyes widen even more.

"What do you mean?" Daichi asks, as though he has no clue what Suga is implying, though Suga can tell exactly what Daichi is thinking. They are alone, at Suga's house. His parent's won’t be back for hours. Two teenagers, alone, who are dating.

Suga moves his hand a few inches up Daichi's thigh.

"I- Uh." Daichi blindly grabs the remote sitting on the other side of him and squeezes it uselessly.

Suga smiles at him sweetly and lets go of his leg.

"Let's hold hands," he says brightly, grabbing onto Daichi's hand.

"Hold hands?" Daichi repeats, as Suga interlocks their fingers.

"Yup," Suga says. Then he turns away from Daichi and faces the TV.

They sit in silence for several minutes. The TV blaring the obnoxious animated voices. Suga keeps his gaze affixed to the screen.

"Sugaaaa," Daichi whines, and Suga almost loses it.

"Yes?" Suga asks turning to him, struggling to keep his face neutral.

"That was mean." Daichi frowns.

"Oh? So you don't want to hold my hand," Suga asks innocently, beginning to pull his fingers away.

"No! You know I do," Daichi full on pouts and holds his hand tighter, and Suga just laughs.

"Jeez Daichi, what were you expecting?" Suga teases, then laughs even more at how red Daichi turns.

"You're lucky the younger team members aren't here to see how much of a bully you really are," Daichi says, echoing Suga's earlier thought. He frowns, but his fingers stay firmly between Suga's own.

\------

The next morning, Daichi wakes up and the world is awash in a glittering golden hue.

He finally accepts that everything that has happened is real.

Suga knows.

Suga _knows_.

Suga knows, and he's willing to give it a try with Daichi. Suga held his hand for almost two hours yesterday. He held Suga's hand for almost two hours yesterday. Suga initiated said handholding. Life is extremely beautiful. Extremely.

During practice, when Hinata and Kageyama sucker punch each other in the gut he finds their display of affection endearing. He laughs at Tsukishima's scathing remarks as though they are the words of a love-sick elementary school boy teasing the girl he has a crush on. When Tanaka and Nishinoya disrupt practice to run to Kiyoko, knocking over a pile of papers on the folding table that he and Suga spent ten minutes organizing, Daichi only thinks—rather fondly— _You ridiculous love struck fools, don't you dare lose hope!_

After practice, Daichi finds himself staring at Suga as Suga takes off his shirt, skin glistening with sweat. It's embarrassing when Suga catches him, but instead of hurrying away in mortification as he would have before, Daichi stands there and turns beet red, causing Suga to laugh good-naturedly.

"Here Asahi, I'll spot you," Daichi volunteers happily, on the way home, when Asahi mumbles aloud how he forgot his wallet as they all head to the Foothill store.

Asahi doesn't reach out for the bill a smiling Daichi offers him; instead he lets it hang uselessly, leaving it to flutter limply in the tepid breeze. His face is a mixture of terror, suspicion, and disbelief with just a dash of who-the-fuck-is-this-person.

Daichi looks around.

Everyone is staring at him.

Everyone.

"What?" Daichi asks them defensively, his ears heating up. He glances at Suga, who looks highly amused.

No one answers.

"Are you going to take it or not," he grumbles at Asahi, shoving the bill towards him. "You have until tomorrow to pay me back. After that, I'm going to start charging interest."

Asahi takes the bill, careful not to touch Daichi's fingers.

"I'm not infected," he snaps, and since Daichi bullying Asahi is 110% more normal than Daichi volunteering to be nice to Asahi, everyone goes back to their conversations.

When they reach the store a few minutes later, his ears still feel hot.

\------

The next day, Suga lays on Daichi's bed, almost seeming to glow in the early afternoon sunlight. From his position on the floor, Daichi can see Suga's side profile, the golden haze of the sun casting an ethereal luminosity to his features. His face is a canvas of alabaster skin so satiny Daichi finds himself unconsciously reaching a finger out to press against the unblemished surface (he has a bad habit of poking the overstuffed packages of raw hamburger meat at the super market).

Poke, poke.

"Daichi," Suga says, eyes still on the manga in front of him. "What are you doing?"

"Ah." Daichi snatches the offending finger back.

_You looked so beautiful, I couldn't keep my finger from misbehaving._

No.

Daichi has not reached that level of creepy yet.

"Skin… so smooth," he mumbles, which is not creepy at all.

"Alright then," Suga hums, and goes back to his manga. Which leaves Daichi with nothing to do, except stare at Suga's face again.

The finger reappears.

It slowly makes its way across the blue bed spread, giving Suga ample time to move away.

He doesn't.

Daichi's finger connects, this time right on Suga's cheekbone. It is hard and supple warmth beneath his finger. Addicting.

Daichi trails his finger slowly along Suga's face. He traces the valleys of his features, outlines the of swell of his cheekbone, applying the slightest pressure. The exquisitely fine layer of hair along Suga's jaw whispers against his fingertip. He leads his finger to the joint of Suga's ear, then pushes it along the curve of the outside. When he gets to the earlobe, he squeezes it, as though judging the weight of the pliant bit of flesh between his fingers.

"Daichi," Suga breathes, and Daichi looks up from where he has honed in on Suga's face to see that Suga is gripping onto the edges of his manga very hard. His breath is a little shallow.

"Ah." Daichi pulls back his finger sheepishly.

"Sorry 'bout that," he mutters. He turns around and picks up his own manga from where it lays neglected on the floor.

He hears Suga shuffle and fidget against the sheets.

"No," Suga says softly, and Daichi knows he's turned his head to face him, because he call feel Suga's breath hit the exposed back of his neck, hot and cool at the same time. Daichi feels a minute shiver rush down his spine. "It was alright."

Daichi cheeks feel a little warm.

\------

Later that night, Suga lays in bed thinking. If he closes his eyes and concentrates he can almost replicate the feel of Daichi's finger. The way it had been so very gentle, almost tender, against his skin. The same way it had tingled, then felt hot, very hot, as it traced his ear.

Suga is no idiot. He knows that this first inkling, this first spark, is the first, the sign, that yes, maybe he really can, and is, developing feelings for Daichi as well.

He's purposely been trying to be more aware of Daichi. It's easy for Suga to forget that Daichi is there, like how a person can easily forget that the sun is in the sky. Everyone just expects it to be there, but if, one day, it vanished, how could anyone even begin to imagine what the result would be like? Just like that sleepless night three weeks ago, Suga can't imagine his life without Daichi. It would be like trying to imagine how his life would have been like if he had never played volleyball. Impossible, improbable; any scenario that comes to mind feels not only unrealistic, but alien.

He feels a little giddy and excited and sort of panicky.

So he does something that may be just a little bit dumb given the situation. He texts Daichi.

To: Daichi Sawamura  
Message: Daichi are you awake?

From: Daichi Sawamura  
Message: Yes.

To: Daichi Sawamura  
Message: Liar.

From: Daichi Sawamura  
Message: Well I am now. What is it? Do you miss me? ;)

Suga groans, but sends his reply anyway.

To: Daichi Sawamura  
Message: I think I like you too.

Daichi stops responding. Suga waits, his whole body tingling in anticipation.

His phone abruptly rings, startling in the silence, and he almost drops it on his face in his haste to answer. His parents are sleeping. If they wake up, he won't be able to talk to Daichi.

"Are you serious?" Daichi asks, voiced hushed but incredulous.

"Well, I can't think of any other explanation as to how I'm feeling," Suga rationalizes. "I'm not saying I'm madly in love with you though. Just, you know, I may sort of like you too. Like, like," he clarifies unnecessarily.

"No way," Daichi breathes in disbelief.

He lets the phone stay silent while Daichi processes.

"I can't believe you," Daichi finally says.

Suga laughs, "It's not that hard to believe. I mean, it's kind of the whole point of what we've been doing."

"No, not that," Daichi says, and Suga can hear him smiling. "I'm talking about the fact that you just confessed to me by text message."

"What? Hey! I didn't even have to tell you about this," Suga protests, making Daichi laugh.

"I just… couldn't wait to tell you," Suga says softly.

Daichi stops laughing and groans out loud.

"Wow, you're really going in for the kill aren't you. I don't think my heart can take anymore doki-dokis."

"Oh my god. I'm hanging up on you," Suga mutters, cheeks turning pink despite the fact that Daichi can't see him.

He can hear Daichi laugh softly under his breath.

"Hey, I'm allowed to tease you a little. I suffered for months because of you."

"Unnecessary suffering that you caused on your own."

"Ouch. Is that any way to talk to your man candy."

"Ugh, Daichi!"

Daichi starts laughing in earnest and Suga hangs up on him.

_That moron._

After a few seconds his phone buzzes.

From: Daichi Sawamura  
Message: You've honestly made me the happiest I can ever remember being.

_That disgustingly adorable moron._

Suga falls asleep smiling.

\------

The next day Daichi has a hard time sitting still in math. He hasn't been able to talk to Suga alone yet. He ran into Asahi before he ran into Suga on the way to school. Then during morning practice there wasn't any time to talk. They couldn't exactly talk during the classes they have together. Lunch time was spent with everyone else on the team revising volleyball strategies.

History is Daichi's last class of the day. There is approximately 30 minutes between the end of school and the start of practice. Usually, it takes 5 minutes before they even leave the school building. Then another 10 minutes to walk to the club room and change. The remaining amount of time is spent setting up everything for practice. So, basically, no free time to be alone and talk. But Daichi is determined to make some.

The moment class is over Daichi jumps up from his desk and sprints down the hall to Suga's class. The first person is barely out the door. It is not Suga.

Daichi pushes his way inside, and sees Suga packing his bag without any rush. He grabs Suga's remaining book and shoves it inside, zipping the top.

"Daichi!" Suga protests, but then Daichi is grabbing his hand, rushing him outside, apologizing without care to those he bumps into in his haste. Suga follows without a word; he doesn't really have a choice given Daichi's iron grip. Daichi stops briefly at the shoe lockers. He allows each of them 10 seconds to switch out their footwear, then he is dragging Suga out the door, around the school, to the far, far side of the building near the grassy area with trees.

Which is shaded and blessedly empty.

Daichi falls to the grass, trying to catch his breath. Suga takes a more dignified seat next to him.

"Daichi what was that all about?"

"I- ah, didn't see, any other time. Available. To talk," Daichi pants out between catching his breath.

"Oh, ok." Suga pauses. "What did you want to talk about?"

Daichi's look is the same one Suga sees him constantly give Kuroo, which is: _I can't believe the words that just came out of your mouth._

"That you like me of course," Daichi says, as though stating the obvious.

Suga can feel his face heat up uncontrollably, like how it used to when he was younger and had to stand up in front of the class to do a presentation.

"What? No. What is there even to talk about? I'm starting to like you too. End of story."

"I want to know the details. When did you realize? How did you realize? Why? Like, what made you know?" Daichi rattles off, so eager he misses picking up on Suga's discomfort.

Suga now understands why Daichi was reluctant to tell him just how long he has been in love with him. It's not because Daichi thought Suga will feel bad for being oblivious. It's because being questioned about this is incredibly and truly mortifying. Even though it's Daichi asking him these questions Suga would rather run an infinite amount of suicides than continue this conversation.

"Daichi this is so embarrassing," Suga states, covering his face with his hands.

"Hah?" Daichi asks, sounding very much like Kageyama.

"How is this embarrassing? I'm the one you like!"

Sometimes Daichi can be dumb. Really, really dumb.

"It's like how you won't tell me exactly how long you've liked me," Suga says bluntly, from behind his hands.

"Oh. Hm." Suga peeks from behind his fingers to see Daichi looking thoughtfully at the air.

"Remember the very first time Shimada-san came to practice to help us all on our serves?" Daichi continues without waiting for a reply from Suga. "And he was taking time to help each of us individually. Well, when he was teaching you, I happened to look over. He had one hand on your shoulder, and the other was pressed against your back." Daichi pauses. "I knew he was just correcting your stance, but I still wanted to come over and punch him in the face."

"You can't be serious," Suga says, dropping his hands.

"Sadly, I am."

"That is such gross, possessive, alpha male behavior."

"Yeah." Daichi rubs the back of his neck. "Not saying I'm proud of it. I was even surprised that I felt that way."

"I didn't actually do it," Daichi adds defensively when Suga just continues to stare at him.

"Yeah. Ok. Ok," Suga says, grinning. "Ok. I sort of realized it yesterday when you were touching my face."

"What? Seriously?" Daichi asks. Then a grin breaks across his own face. Daichi reaches over and captures Suga's face between his hands. His thumbs start to rub circles against Suga's cheeks.

"Daichi what are you doing?" Suga deadpans, because he has a pretty good idea of what is going on.

"I'm making you like me more," Daichi says cheerfully, giving Suga's head a firm squeeze.

Suga groans, but doesn't pull away. Daichi's thumbs continue to move against his skin.

"I seriously can't believe I like you," Suga mumbles.

"Well it's probably because I'm charming, popular, athletic, and extremely good looking," Daichi says, moving his fingers so they start to massage Suga's scalp.

"Don't forget prone to self-praise and exceedingly modest," Suga mutters sarcastically, his eyes closing as Daichi massages his skin. His head starts to lean heavily against one of Daichi's hands. Daichi seamless supports the weight.

"Don't fall asleep now Suga."

"Mhhh," Suga says, reaching a hand up to move Daichi's hand to the proper spot. Daichi laughs softly. 

Daichi obliges Suga for several moments, grinning at Suga's sigh when Daichi massages his temple just right.

He can't help it.

He leans forward and presses his lips against the span of skin above Suga's left eyebrow.

"Ah," Suga breathes as his hands shoot up to grip onto Daichi's biceps. His eyes stay closed.

Daichi pulls back the slightest bit, then presses another kiss, softly and purposefully, right next to the first. He pulls back, and presses another, then another, continuing to follow the path of Suga's brow. Suga's grip on his arms tightens with each touch.

Suga's skin is smooth and hot against his lips.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry," a voice says, and both of them pull swiftly apart to see Asahi standing there, expression terrified, looking like he's stumbled upon Yamaguichi finally snapping and stabbing Tsukishima in the throat with a knife.

"I'm so sorry. It's just practice is about to start, and no one knew where you were, but then Hinata said he saw you come this way, and Noya said I should come look, and I'm so very sorry, so sorry," Asahi rambles uselessly. He stops, realizing he is rambling, then bows stiffly, and very low, before turning and full on running, not giving Daichi or Suga a chance to say a word.

"Well…" Daichi says in the aftermath.

"I wonder if this is what it feels like when parents get walked in on by their children," Suga ponders out loud. Daichi stares at him startled, then starts laughing.

"I can't believe you just said that. But you're right. That's exactly what it was like." Daichi huffs. Suga gets up and dusts his pants off, then offers his hand to Daichi.

"Come on Daddy Daichi, let's go before Asahi spontaneously combusts." Daichi accepts the hand with another laugh, lacing their fingers together as he stands. It feels warm and natural and as right and good as a point scored after a decent volley.

"I'm gonna kill him," Daichi says conversationally, as they make their way off the grass. "It's not like we were doing anything that scandalous. That big idiot he could have just turned and left without us even realizing he was there."

Suga laughs good-naturedly. "I think for Asahi, that might have been what he thinks of as scandalous behavior."

Daichi hrmphs but it is completely free of malice.

Suga stops and leans over to Daichi's ear, whispering despite the fact that no one else is around. "Next time, let's make sure that we're doing something _really_ scandalous, to warrant such a high level of shock."

Daichi freezes in place.

Suga laughs, and lets go of his hand, continuing to walk without him.

"Hey… hey wait! You know, we could try out that theory. Like, right now, even. You know, he might come back, and all," Daichi stutters excitedly and stupidly.

 _I'm dating the biggest idiot_ , Suga thinks to himself, laughing at how beautiful the world feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MADE A TUMBLR: foursidedjade.
> 
> SERIOUSLY ADD ME PEOPLE. I have no friends IRL who like Haikyuu!!. Such sadness :(


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